Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
gizz104 gizz104 is offline
gizz104's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 3

See profile

sorry guys Im sure this has been done a million times..heres to a million and one. Anyways, so I am 21 and a single mom to the most beautiful eleven month old little girl. I understand that MOST men my age or close to it do not not neccessarily want someone who has a child. Personally, I am looking for a long term relationship which is why I am here. Like a lot of you I am not into the club/bar scene. I am not here looking for a daddy for her, wait a sec..I dont exactly know how to describe it. I mean Im not here to find someone soley because I do not want to be a single parent. I prefer real relationships as opposed to flings, and am looking for that "special someone". So personally if I started dating someone it would be quite sometime before they were even introduced to my daughter. Right now I am not a paying memeber because I am not really sure if it is worth it. I mean what if everyone is driven away by the fact that I have a child. Anyways, now that this has dragged on forever. Would you, personally, date someone with a child, or would you be willing to build a longterm relationship(given that you were both interested). Any single parents feel free to share your experiences in the world of love.
Last edited by gizz104; July 27th, 2009 at 05:19 pm.
- July 27th, 2009, 01:57 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
stevex stevex is offline
stevex's Avatar

stevex Life is a blessing, it's a delicatessen.

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 959

See profile

As a 21 year old guy I have gone back and forth on this topic. Originally I would have said, no, kids were a deal breaker. I than begin to wonder if perhaps I was giving up the chance to me with a great person because she might have children from a previous relationship. So my current philosophy is that her having children won't stop me from communicating with her or perhaps going out wit her and seeing if there is chemistry.

Now it would be a definite if her desire was to find a father for the baby, as some women are indeed looking for that. While if the relationship worked out I would gladly accept the duties of a stepdad if the situation was to arise; however, if there was any indication that she was looking for that right away I would likely be very turned off by it.
- July 27th, 2009, 03:44 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
gizz104 gizz104 is offline
gizz104's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 3

See profile

stevex wrote :
As a 21 year old guy I have gone back and forth on this topic. Originally I would have said, no, kids were a deal breaker. I than begin to wonder if perhaps I was giving up the chance to me with a great person because she might have children from a previous relationship. So my current philosophy is that her having children won't stop me from communicating with her or perhaps going out wit her and seeing if there is chemistry.

Now it would be a definite no if her desire was to find a father for the baby, as some women are indeed looking for that. While if the relationship worked out I would gladly accept the duties of a stepdad if the situation was to arise; however, if there was any indication that she was looking for that right away I would likely be very turned off by it.

You basically explained what I was tried to explain, but made it much more understandable. Like I said I am not looking for a father for her, but if the relationship progressed to marriage I would expect him to take on the role of stepfather. Nicely put, thank you. I am wanting a serious relationship, but it would be quite sometime before the two where even introduced because I do not want to bring people in and out of her life, and I would not want to introduce them with the impression that she was now his responsibility also.
- July 27th, 2009, 05:18 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
stevex stevex is offline
stevex's Avatar

stevex Life is a blessing, it's a delicatessen.

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 959

See profile

gizz104 wrote :
[/color][/size]
[/size]

You basically explained what I was tried to explain, but made it much more understandable. Like I said I am not looking for a father for her, but if the relationship progressed to marriage I would expect him to take on the role of stepfather. Nicely put, thank you. I am wanting a serious relationship, but it would be quite sometime before the two where even introduced because I do not want to bring people in and out of her life, and I would not want to introduce them with the impression that she was now his responsibility also.
With your response it appears that you have a good head on your shoulder and that there would be a lot guys that would be okay with the fact that you have a child. if you haven't yet gotten on eHarmony I highly suggest it and you are surely to find a guy that will care about you and maybe your child later on down the road.
- July 30th, 2009, 02:31 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
CharlieV1 CharlieV1 is offline
CharlieV1's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 13

See profile

perhaps you can clear up a misconception that I may have. Ideally I wouldn't mind seeing someone with a kid. My concern is the jealous dad coming after me. Which recently happened and this newly single mom was just a room mate living here. Needed a place to stay for a few weeks. But the baby dad thought I liked her. The way I was trying to help. Sent me a threatening e-mail and was about ready to get violent.
Some pregnant woman seek to date other men when they were with the father obviously just a few months earlier. What changes so quickly?

Unless he is controlling like the guy I encountered but that puts your potential suitors at risk if he's dangerous.
- August 29th, 2009, 08:42 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

w_elissa w_elissa is offline
w_elissa's Avatar

w_elissa is puzzled

Quick Study

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 58

See profile

Well, I understand how everyone wants to find someone. I have a friend who had a child and has now found someone great who also has a child. Both of them had full custody and now they make such a cute family. However, I have met many guys with kids and depending on the circumstances I often find it a major turn off. Call me old fashioned, but I know how not to get pregnet and I would like to be married once and have children with that person. Maybe that's why I'm almost 27 with no children. I'll be honest, moving from the north to the south I'm now seeing myself as a minority.
- September 4th, 2009, 06:01 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
gomez gomez is offline
gomez's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 11

See profile

I also have a 5 year old son. Who I love very much! It is also hard for Men, because some women don't want a Men with a kid. They are just more discrete about it. I am single, and on e-harmony; but on my profile I mention my son. Because I am not ashame. They either Love it or Hate it. I have been closed by a lot of matches, because I have a 5 year old. But there are Fine single moms out there anyway!!!! So I am not bothered
- October 6th, 2009, 08:30 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

« 27th birthday ideas | Array | Dating for single parents »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Texting other women on a date Mystified101 Ask a Dating Expert 58 January 20th, 2010 11:03 am
Brilliant first date, then nothing? s77 Dating 23 October 16th, 2009 10:48 am
Bad Second Date Sort of bdavie Ask a Dating Expert 16 October 12th, 2009 11:29 pm
Dating a single father who has no contact with his child Sabrina31 Dating 18 June 29th, 2009 10:49 pm
To Date or Not To Date 4ever29 Relationships 2 May 18th, 2009 09:50 am

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ Have you ever considered that he might have a personality or mood disorder? If he's going from low to high, or gets in "these depressed moods"- that's a sign. He may be burying himself in work to ... ” – bonfiredancer

Join the “He never initiates us getting together” discussion

“A profile can be removed for a number of reasons. Violations being one of them. Also, those people could have requested that their profile be removed because they have met someone or no longer want ... ” – AndieIsMe

Join the “Send Final Message? MIA profile?” discussion

“Hmm... Think so. We definitely went from hanging out together to dating. Sex two or three times per week. Texting or talking each day. Met the kid. Had a day date with her, the kid and the ... ” – MQRegan

Join the “Making time for her” discussion

“Oldie but goodie! A lot of guys have commitment problems because it's acceptable today to be 40 years old (as a man) and have never been married. A guy should be asking YOU to commit to him- if he ... ” – bonfiredancer

Join the “I want to be exclusive & he's not ready...need some advice!” discussion

“Not thinking it is flossing, as I do not floss and my breath and teeth are prefect and smell fine (I am told). We'll talk about it and see where it leads.” – MQRegan

Join the “Bad breath” discussion

“I think its a good idea to find out if you have things in common with somebody befor you go on a date with them. for myself i really appriciate a good sense of humor.” – kuehlest

Join the “9 Tips to Get You From the Phone to the Date” discussion

“That is hilarious! Were any of his pics of him and some of the girls?” – AndieIsMe

Join the “New Match's Occupation!” discussion

“Just an idea... You are dating guys who will back-burner you after three dates when there is no hint of physical intimacy happening in the very near future. It's called the "three date rule" amongst ... ” – TXButtercup

Join the “The 3-Date Wonder” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:31 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0