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bella8bella's Avatar

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Hi and thank you in advance! I have gotten some strange matches but one in particular I need some advice on. I've gotten through guided communication with him (he preferred fast track) and at the end of his second questions he typed that he was looking for someone to show him around my city. In open communication I asked him to clarify and he said that he is touring the US and will be coming to my city this weekend and staying for 1 week. He is looking for someone to show him the sights and give him a perspective of what it's like to live here.

I'm having a hard time understanding why a person would take the personality test and fill out their profile (his profile is quite normal, completely filled out with detailed answers and correct english) just to meet someone to be their tour guide. And he answered my 2nd questions, only mentioning the touring bit at the end of the last one, and then sent me 3 questions for me to answer. His profile says he's currently in a city in Florida by way of Atlanta (which makes no sense!) but he let it slip that he was from South Africa and "coming to the US to tour". He also mentioned that he has a green card.

Anyhoo... I am apprehensive that it is all so sudden. I mean he's coming to my city in two days, we were just matched on Oct 30. And I don't understand why someone would use a dating site to find someone to show him around and keep him company. Any opinions on what exactly he is doing? I want to refer him to a travel agency but don't want to seem rude!

Last edited by bella8bella; November 4th, 2009 at 11:03 pm.
- November 4th, 2009, 10:58 pm
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I see red flags all over this. If someone is just passing through, they're not looking for a hamonious match (which is what I assume you are on this site for). What's the point in continuing a match if they're here today and gone tomorrow. If they're just wandering the country, there are probably some stability issues and this person should be avoided in order to keep your heart and person safe. I would report this person to eHarmony as they are using the site for something it was not intended for.
- November 4th, 2009, 11:21 pm
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I see four big red flags waving. They each have one letter on them, spelling S-C-A-M.

I would never in a million years meet him, and I wouldn't worry about seeming rude, either.

I hope you haven't given him too much personal information yet.

I would close him, and possibly report his profile to eHarmony as extremely suspicious.
- November 4th, 2009, 11:23 pm
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ditto. scam. report him. give him NO INFO about where you live, etc. etc.
- November 5th, 2009, 12:24 am
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Report this to eharmony for sure. This is a dating site not a tour guide site. This kind of guy does not belong on eharmony. I guess this goes to show that eharmony is not really checking the people who join. I surely would not meet up with this guy. Being a tour guide is not why you joined eharmony in the first place and is not what this site is about in any way shape or form.
- November 5th, 2009, 02:52 am
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legend29 is looking for a loophole....

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bella8bella wrote :
Hi and thank you in advance! I have gotten some strange matches but one in particular I need some advice on. I've gotten through guided communication with him (he preferred fast track) and at the end of his second questions he typed that he was looking for someone to show him around my city. In open communication I asked him to clarify and he said that he is touring the US and will be coming to my city this weekend and staying for 1 week. He is looking for someone to show him the sights and give him a perspective of what it's like to live here.

I'm having a hard time understanding why a person would take the personality test and fill out their profile (his profile is quite normal, completely filled out with detailed answers and correct english) just to meet someone to be their tour guide. And he answered my 2nd questions, only mentioning the touring bit at the end of the last one, and then sent me 3 questions for me to answer. His profile says he's currently in a city in Florida by way of Atlanta (which makes no sense!) but he let it slip that he was from South Africa and "coming to the US to tour". He also mentioned that he has a green card.

Anyhoo... I am apprehensive that it is all so sudden. I mean he's coming to my city in two days, we were just matched on Oct 30. And I don't understand why someone would use a dating site to find someone to show him around and keep him company. Any opinions on what exactly he is doing? I want to refer him to a travel agency but don't want to seem rude!
Ahhhhhhh....the old "I'm-just-looking-for-a-travel-guide-cause-I-live -in-Florida-by-way-of-Atlanta-but-really-live-in-South-Africa" scam.

Oh...and the fast track and wanting to meet you witnin 5 days is priceless!

I see him calling you in two days with an emergency and needing cash...or coming to see you and losing his wallet your first night out during dinner and thus having you pay for the entire week while he is so-called 'visiting'. Or he may be more inventive than that and call you in distress claiming to have been mugged and thus needs your financial help to get back home.

But my money is on the first scenario..he won't even make it on the plane!

Listen, if it walks and talks like a duck...it is a gosh darn duck.
- November 5th, 2009, 03:40 am
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Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

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I agree with the others. This does seem suspicious and should be reported to eHarmony at matchconcerns@eharmony.com

I can see some sense in the concept of using an internet (dating) site to find a tour guide but eHarmony is a very poor choice. One of the free sites such as POF would be a better choice as they have a choice for looking for someone to just hang out with.
- November 5th, 2009, 06:32 am
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Sassafras54 has decided to be more hopeful.

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Go ahead and "be rude". Just close him out. Report to eH. It's very weird.
- November 5th, 2009, 08:23 am
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Big Danger signs are showing, don't do it!
- November 5th, 2009, 08:35 am
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I love that legend, I just love it!!!! And probably not far from the truth. Hope she comes back and reads this and makes the right joice, NO, NO, NO, DELETE, IGNORE, CLOSE and BYE!! Oh yes, please report him, I would hate to have him change his tactics and draw in some of the other fine ladies here.
- November 5th, 2009, 06:39 pm
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