Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Relationships Relationships: they have their ups and their downs. Share your joy or weather the storm in this discussion board.

Reply
Page 3 of 3 1 2 3
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
butterflywhisperer butterflywhisperer is offline
butterflywhisperer's Avatar

butterflywhisperer is at home.

Quick Study

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 94

See profile

At first it was cute that he was jealous but it got old really quickly. He became like psycho-jealous-paranoid-monster. He was attending school in another state and I took a three hour flight to see him and because I am friendly by nature I started talking to my seatmate. We were having a nice conversation throughout the flight and kept talking as we went to the baggage pick-up area when I saw my boyfriend and waved the other guy good bye and as soon as we got into his car he pounced "did you get his phone number?" I was confused... who was he talking about? I was genuinely puzzled. I am like "who?" and he said "the guy you were talking to when I saw you" and the grilling went on like this until we got to his place. He just got more psycho until I dumped him.

After that, one of the first initial screening questions is about jealousy. I ask straight out "Are you the jealous type?" I am friendly to just about everybody so if the guy has jealousy issues, we wouldn't be a good fit. I have never cheated on a guy and like moon said, if I was interested in somebody else, I wouldn't be with him in the first place. It is really that simple.

The nut job comes across as a really nice, mellow easy-going guy until you get to know him better and then Whammo! From what I've last heard, he's practicing medicine in El Paso. If his patients only knew the paranoid-jealous nutjob underneath the white coat. Still gives me chills everytime I think about him and very there are several states separating us.
- August 17th, 2009, 10:21 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#21   Reply With Quote
Hellyeah12 Hellyeah12 is offline
Hellyeah12's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 1

See profile

On Febuary 7 2009 at the between friends valentines day dance I didn't have the guts to go up to Daniel Rosengarten and tell him the truth but then Michelle Connick started giving me all of theese pointers and that kind of thing and so after she talked to me she told me to go up to Daniel Rosengarten and tell him the truth and so I did and about a week later Daniel Rosengarten started calling me while he was trying to ask me to go out with him and so the phone calls from him were like about five or ten minutes and so I finally had to answer one of thoose calls and so when I answered the call I just said to him can I call you back because I was in the middle of supper at that point and I hate it when people call me in the middle of supper.and so after that I was just so confussed by everything that was happening and so sometime in april I finally got things straightened out inbetween the two of us but the hard part of that was not talking to him and his brother for about six months but Josh and I didn't listen and I say that because one of the only things that we could do was email each other and talk to each other while both of us were at Camp Boniventure and now both Josh and I have just made things way worse all thanks to my friend Mark who asked me for Lisa Rosengarten's phone numbers but when I gave Mark her phone numbers I didn't know that it could hurt the relationship that me and Danny have right now and my friendship with both of boys(Josh and Danny RFosengarten) and now I'm never going to make that mistque again because if I do then my parent's won't even let me see them ever again. What should I do about this situation? Both Josh and Daniel Rosengarten are jewish I know that I love Danny Rosengarten but the main problem is that my mind isn't in the same place that my heart is right now?
- August 18th, 2009, 02:03 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#22   Reply With Quote
Raw_Truth Raw_Truth is offline
Raw_Truth's Avatar

Pacesetter

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 254

See profile

sthngrlc wrote :
I want thoughts on this issue, especially guys who may have a tendency to be jealous. I started to date a guy (semi-long distance) and within a month he told me that before he could be serious with me, he would need me to not hangout with guys. He told me I could choose to, but if so he couldn't be in a serious dating/relationship with me. I agreed, thinking he was worth it. After 6 months and he acting odd and talking about breaking up, I finally went out with 2 girlfriends to a small party. I lied to him knowing he would get very mad and probably break up with me for that alone. I wanted him to breakup with me for a concrete reason and not because I hungout with people. I guess my question is why do guys act like this? I know lying is wrong, but come on are all guys like this? And yes, he broke up because I ended up confessing after I lied to him for a night.
Sorry, no, if this all there is, he's not jealous, he's smart and otherwise prudent in his relationships. It's a naivete issue (on your part) and a trust issue (other guys). By framing it as a jealousy issue you're setting yourself up for relationship headaches for years to come.

He knows that the guys you're hanging with are to varying degrees vying to be with you; whether it's the guys who full well know they could never close the deal and simply hangout in the delusion they can, to guys who will use you to get to your friends, to guys who are waiting for an opportune time to move in (rebound!).

There are no true friends between men and women from the man's POV. This is the absolute reality of millions of years of evolution. This is one of the single most important and immutable laws of male/female interaction.
Last edited by Raw_Truth; August 18th, 2009 at 09:45 am.
- August 18th, 2009, 09:43 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#23   Reply With Quote
Dafearon Dafearon is offline
Dafearon's Avatar

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: Jul 2008

Posts: 1,246

See profile

I used to be jealous. Maybe no insanely jealous, but there was a time in my life I'm not very proud of.

It pretty much stemmed from previous girlfriends cheating on me, but I'm not blaming them. Ultimately, as many people have said, its a trust issue. Its also a control issue as well.

I realized that I had no control and can never have control. That's how i controlled my jealousy, so to speak. By realizing there is nothing to control, i let it go, and literally stopped being jealous.

The last time i felt the jealousy bug was exactly the reason above. I was losing control. My ex was going through some hard times, and withdrawing because of that. My mind started filling in the blanks, and I started getting jealous. Mind you, this is someone I knew VERY well and knew she would never cheat on me. But that feeling was still there and it was hard to shake it. Plus, if i looked at it logically, there really wasn't a way for her to cheat on me given the schedule she was keeping. There is never a logic to it.

For me now, as long as there is nothing inappropriate about the venue, my girlfriend does whatever she wants. If there was something inappropriate, I will voice my objections, and that is that. She can still do whatever she wants, and by voicing my objections, she has to decide whether to upset me by continuing to partake in that venue, or she can decide to cede to my wishes and not go. Now, if I object to something. That's as far as it goes for me. I will not take it farther because I do not want to control her actions. I choose how to respond to her decision, but I will never *expect* her to do what i want. I only tell her my wishes and leave it at that. Her actions will always be her own and I'm allowed my decisions to act on those actions.

Its simple really. If your girl/guy wants to cheat on you. There is NOTHING you can do about it. There is only what you can do about it for yourself if/when you find out.
- August 18th, 2009, 01:08 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#24   Reply With Quote
wordwoman wordwoman is offline
wordwoman's Avatar

wordwoman is in contemplation

Quick Study

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 221

See profile

In my experience, folks who are nut-job jealous usually are chronically unhappy people. If I determine that you have no joy in your life and nothing brings you happiness, I'm probably going to be out of there with a quickness, because your next move will be to try to s^^k the joy and happiness out of my life. Life is too short to spend it around unhappy, joyless people.

Now with that said, I'm a Faith Hill kind of woman. If I witness some skanky-girl behaving in a less than decent fashion toward my man, a la Tim McGraw, I'm going to step to her and handle my business, just like Faith did. Some folks accused Faith of being jealous, but I don't see it that way. She was just letting the girl know she needed to back up off her man. Nothing wrong with that.
- August 18th, 2009, 04:59 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#25   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

LizziePooh LizziePooh is offline
LizziePooh's Avatar

LizziePooh has decided she is a BORG too.

Power Poster

Join Date: May 2008

Posts: 5,625

See profile

I agree with the others that say jealousy is about insecurities. I think that is really what it is all about and you can fix someone's insecurities - that is their deal to fix.

Personally, I have never dated a jealous type and don't imagine I will start now.
- August 18th, 2009, 05:23 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#26   Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 3 of 3 1 2 3

Bookmarks

« When advice is sought what is really behind it? | Array | Can you work together and have a relationship »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Question for guys 20-35ish Red28 About You 46 January 15th, 2010 03:03 am
Ladies -- will you date younger guys? stevex Dating 132 October 28th, 2009 08:12 pm
advice from eHarmony past or present subscribers pussinboots Relationships 12 September 13th, 2009 05:53 pm
Am I being jealous or is she unreasonable? chubbard Ask a Dating Expert 44 June 9th, 2009 09:55 am

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Take some risk and initiative, call him and ask him out instead of waiting for him. Then if the date is going well, just surprise hiim with the kiss in the middle of the date (not at the end). My ... ” – robv_la

Join the “3 dates-- no kiss, and hardly no contact. Has he lost interest?” discussion

“Update??” – atuconamor

Join the “I have issues......” discussion

“Kissing is a complicated question. It feels weird to me to be physical with more than one guy, so I usually end up not kissing anyone who isn't my "favorite", and then they eventually get frustrated ... ” – atuconamor

Join the “Letting them know you're multi-dating?” discussion

“I think the Goldilocks method is breaking into someone's home, eating their food and sleeping in their beds, then being surprised when they come home and growl at you. They shoulda thrown her in ... ” – robv_la

Join the “The Goldilocks method” discussion

“ People are only guaranteed to the PURSUIT of happiness. They are not entitled to jack @#$!. In this country you have to EARN the luxuries of life.....well at least it used to be that way. ... ” – dwreese182

Join the “Why is Healthcare such a big deal anyway?” discussion

“Ok so the OP was used by a woman. I am sure most guys have been in the same boat, me included. That's why it's easy to recognize when someone else is dealing with it. I think it's important to ... ” – robv_la

Join the “Was I to Harsh” discussion

“Yes, Sassafras, I think you hit it on the head. It's a sharing thing and I guess there's no way around it. "But you can be loving and supportive of their experience of this change." I like this ... ” – sodone

Join the “Your thoughts on successfully blending families...” discussion

“I don't think all the good ones are taken, but so far all the dates and relationships with people from eH turned out not be as advertised...meaning a good match for me. I think 'good' really is ... ” – robv_la

Join the “I think I'm cursed.” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:32 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0