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Can_I_just_be_Jo wrote :
I have seen people meet and marry people and then even though they fit the criteria at the time start a "perfection". A relationship is give and take. I don't know how else to explain it. Read the list...http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...tml#post785841
I read it!
- November 3rd, 2009, 07:56 pm
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jayjay wrote :
Yeah.....but I do that every week.
Some guy just have all the fun!!!

- November 3rd, 2009, 07:57 pm
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I've only got 3 things on my list

1. That he is a MAN

2. That he makes me happy in bed at least once a day.

3. Hmmmm, there ain't no 3
- November 4th, 2009, 08:17 am
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Settling vs. Compromising....

Settling: I totally missed the boat on this one in terms of getting my essential needs and wants out of this relationship...and out of an act of desperation settled for something rather than nothing.

Compromising: I got what I need and want minus details I was flexible on to begin with. The benefits far outweigh any perceived losses. I have the essential foundation and material to build a good and (Godwilling) successful relationship.
- November 4th, 2009, 01:17 pm
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trixie1868 trixie1868 is offline
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Do ya suppose that because we're single (and some of us stubbornly so) that we need to believe that people in couples have somehow 'settled' for less than they hoped for?

Do ya suppose that it makes us feel better, justifies our status, by declaring publicly, over and over again that "we will not settle". Oh no, we are single because we are discerning.

Do ya suppose that if we met someone who was a good enough fit we'd think that there is no real distinction between 'settling' and 'compromising' and we'd just get on with being as happy as we could manufacture?

Do ya suppose that if we did 'settle' we'd read these threads with a mixture of pity, and gentle mocking scorn?

or

Do ya suppose something else entirely?
- November 4th, 2009, 01:49 pm
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trixie1868 wrote :
Do ya suppose that because we're single (and some of us stubbornly so) that we need to believe that people in couples have somehow 'settled' for less than they hoped for?
Not settled, compromised
- November 4th, 2009, 01:55 pm
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I think settling is compromising to the detriment of your own value system. Our values are unique and thus what is settling will be different for each of us.

Compromising is opening your mind to people and experiences that don't go against your values, but may be "out of the box" for you.
- November 4th, 2009, 03:28 pm
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Settling is being with someone that you are not thrilled about but it is better than being alone. This is something I refuse to do myself. I think in the long term that settling would make me miserable. Compromising is a part of being in a relationship and one should not have an issue with doing.
- November 4th, 2009, 03:38 pm
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Can_I_just_be_Jo wrote :
Settling to me is taking up with one of those doormats. Those are those men that no matter how mean and evil I am they fall all over themselves to date me. Yeah I can get them to marry me, yeah they have tons of money but holy hell drinking would be my only pleasure in life.

Settling is accepting being less than happy.
So the issue you have is deciding what makes you happy in reality, not what you think will make you happy.
- November 4th, 2009, 11:28 pm
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Compromising: They are really great looking, but have a few 'red flags' and incompatibilities that we are willing to ignore because we are sick of being alone.

Settling: They aren't all that attractive, plus they have a few 'red flags' and incompatibilities that we are willing to ignore because we are sick of being alone.

=P
- November 5th, 2009, 04:16 am
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