Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 1 of 2 1 2
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Galvan316 Galvan316 is offline
Galvan316's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Nov 2009

Posts: 6

See profile

Recently,

I met a woman who after reading her profile, I was hooked. Now, Im guilty of wearing my heart on my sleeve but, I really think I like her. Last night after days of emails, We chatted online for about 5 hours. All impressions I got were positives, although I think I slipped up in asking her too soon to meet up.

I really really dont want to mess this one up, We've had pretty deep conversations about what exactly we are both looking for and Im itching to meet her, but Im afraid im going to say or do something to jeopardize it.

Please Help!
- November 2nd, 2009, 03:02 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
D_Lion D_Lion is online now
D_Lion's Avatar

D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 15,397

See profile

Sorry, no help for you.

If you stay interested and eager, she may get scared.

If you back off, she may conclude momentum faded and you lost interest.

Anything can happen, despite your best efforts. I prefer just being honest with them, not giving more than I get, and letting things unfold over time. Works as well as any other strategy.
- November 2nd, 2009, 03:33 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
PY_2 PY_2 is online now
PY_2's Avatar

Virtuoso

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 3,725

See profile

Galvan316 wrote :
Recently,

I met a woman who after reading her profile, I was hooked. Now, Im guilty of wearing my heart on my sleeve but, I really think I like her. Last night after days of emails, We chatted online for about 5 hours. All impressions I got were positives, although I think I slipped up in asking her too soon to meet up.

I really really dont want to mess this one up, We've had pretty deep conversations about what exactly we are both looking for and Im itching to meet her, but Im afraid im going to say or do something to jeopardize it.

Please Help!
Unless that woman was in total boredom and nothing else to do, no woman would spend five hours chatting online with you (for free). So you're ok there. Breathe in..breathe out. You've been emailing for days, I've had women asking to meet up after two weeks of emailing, so few days is ok.

If you're nervous about this...just remember, chances are sometimes they might be nervous or at least excited to meet you too (unless they are professional/serial dater and doing this is a second nature to them..than it's a different story).

Good luck and relax!!
- November 2nd, 2009, 03:33 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
sabete2002 sabete2002 is offline
sabete2002's Avatar

sabete2002 Happy 2010!!

Veteran

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 2,338

See profile

Yep, breathing is good!

Just remember that until you meet you really only have her online persona to go on so try not to get your expectations way up there only to have them dashed. I'm not saying they will necessarily but there have been a few stories here similar to yours - lots of emailing and IMing prior to meeting then once you meet, the magic isn't there. While talking and emailing are good initially, don't let your imagination fill in the blanks only to have a very different reality.
- November 2nd, 2009, 04:49 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
Galvan316 Galvan316 is offline
Galvan316's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Nov 2009

Posts: 6

See profile

I think my biggest fears are 1. I say something early on that makes me seem like a fool or needy. 2. I try to push the envelope too quickly therefore freaking her out. 3. Trying to rush her and/or thinking she isnt really interested or something since she wasnt available to talk in other words always thinking somethings wrong.
- November 2nd, 2009, 05:01 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Alli824 Alli824 is offline
Alli824's Avatar

Alli824 is at work.

Quick Study

Join Date: Nov 2007

Posts: 120

See profile

I'm all for meeting as quickly as you can. Make the connection, chat on the phone a couple of times, and then meet if you're interested. Nothing like the meet up for the reality check. When someone drags their feet especially after we have a great conversation, I figure they have something to hide. Go for it and see if your fantasy matches reality.
- November 2nd, 2009, 05:21 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
cardguy cardguy is offline
cardguy's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 1,087

See profile

Try to relax, arrange to meet sooner rather than later, remember that right now you're not attracted to her, but to your mental projection of who she is. Try to adjust your expectations and emotional attachment accordingly, and above all have fun!
- November 2nd, 2009, 05:53 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
saulgoode saulgoode is offline
saulgoode's Avatar

Unregistered

Join Date: Oct 2008

Posts: 1,308

See profile

Don't get frazzled. If you tell her you like her, she'll split.

Because you'll regurgitate your affection, not mete it out in chewable chunks, and it'll ruin her blouse.

Women don't like you to be obsessed. Not one little bit.

Like her. But don't go all infatuate over her.

That's how I got all those restraining orders.


- Saul
- November 2nd, 2009, 05:59 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
littlebluemonkeymind littlebluemonkeymind is offline
littlebluemonkeymind's Avatar

littlebluemonkeymind The word of the day is: FOCUS

Power Poster

Join Date: Jul 2008

Posts: 9,130

See profile

Galvan316 wrote :
I think my biggest fears are 1. I say something early on that makes me seem like a fool or needy. 2. I try to push the envelope too quickly therefore freaking her out. 3. Trying to rush her and/or thinking she isnt really interested or something since she wasnt available to talk in other words always thinking somethings wrong.
1. Are you a fool or needy? If so, work on that. If not, her perceptions will be wrong and that says something about her, not you.

2. Meeting someone new, developing a new relationship, whether romantic or social, is like a dance. You need to know the steps and you need to be able to read your partner's language. If you're rushing your steps, you just need more practice.

3. See number 2. Also, this to me indicates a basic insecurity. That's going to haunt you even if she ends up adoring you. It sounds like something you need to work on yourself about.

I agree with the advice to not infatuate over someone you haven't met yet. Also, to not infatuate too much over someone you have met but don't know well yet.

I second the breathing advice.

Good luck.
- November 2nd, 2009, 06:09 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
SactoDoug SactoDoug is offline
SactoDoug's Avatar

SactoDoug is wondering why he can't get no satisfaction.

Enthusiast

Join Date: Apr 2008

Posts: 524

See profile

You didn't slip up. As long as you are not asking her to meet up with you in a fast track communication, then I don't think you can meet too soon.

I do think you are over thinking this. Lots of people look like the perfect match for you on paper. You won't know for sure until you meet. This is why I would rather meet sooner than too late. You build up expectations quickly and over time they can warp the reality of who she really is in your mind. She is human but we can easily morph her into a goddess with infatuation.

You followed the normal progression of emails, telephone then first meeting. The step to take at the meeting is to decide if you want to date her and ask her out on a real date. Don't wait to call the next night. Ask during the meeting. Also, if things don't feel right, don't be afraid to tell her it that you are not interested too. I find that women respect that when I tell them so at the first meeting. It save their time as well as my own.
- November 2nd, 2009, 07:25 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 1 of 2 1 2

Bookmarks

« Stuck in Limbo | Array | the scam date »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How important is the “right” amount of work at different stages of life? D_Lion About You 30 August 19th, 2009 06:04 am
time to quit? cp30 Dating 65 August 3rd, 2009 10:03 pm
French kisses the norm the first time? lilsun Dating 13 July 18th, 2009 10:48 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Well that's a difficult question. Short answer... yes, way too fast! Longer answer... people move at different paces depending on how the chemistry works. You typically would want to have an over-all ... ” – Sp3ctre

Join the “Sex too soon. Is it too late?” discussion

“ What EH has done is confuse the heck out of all of us with the (has kids, doesnt have kids,) mess. Are you sure that she wasnt mentioning the kids in her profile to let others know that she ... ” – livenlearn

Join the “Are these women being intentionally deceptive in their profiles?” discussion

“No, neardc. I called, I promise you I called!!! If you don't believe me call yourself. The guy or gal will tell you the same thing. I know because he was just reading off a script about the ... ” – justme27

Join the “The 2010 Census: Step Forward or just odd?” discussion

“Recently I had four women I was in OC with. Three of them had been the ones to initiate. Look, in some ways it's sort of a race. If you sit back and wait, others will leave you behind. That goes ... ” – pussinboots

Join the “Am I doing something wrong by initiating contact? I thought guys liked that...?” discussion

“I am trying this strategy a bit as well, keeping positive and hoping he will give a call soon. I haven't cut him out and I don't want him to cut me out either. I just want to be listened to and not ... ” – healthb

Join the “Relationship Frustration” discussion

“I got almost 90% engineers and IT specialists, with a healthy sprinkling of "project managers." The outliers were the three who weren't in such technical fields: an academic librarian, a biology ... ” – tenderheart105

Join the “Matches are all similar occupations?” discussion

“ I really don't have a list that I go on dates with. For me, it's really about how well we connect face to face (whether there is a mutual attraction), how well we can communicate, what activities ... ” – salbertarose

Join the “We are not your ex....” discussion

“Rainmaker......exactly what point are you trying to make? Yes.......there are many women out there that are making a mess out of the very sensitive subject of abuse. They should be subjected to and ... ” – newbie40something

Join the “Spinoff from "Smart Women" thread: Men & the courts/abusive women/false DV claims/etc.” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:31 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0