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Leafsg Leafsg is offline
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Hi everyone.

I assume that some are familiar with me from some of my recent posts.

I have been thinking about stuff that lead to women rejecting me for a date, and one of the things is that I may be saying the wrong things that turn women off and i don't know it.

I often get together of people who are fans of an NHL hockey team (my name might be a dead giveaway here) and I try hard to get into conversations with some of the women there as i find them attractive and want to get to know them more. What sort of things do i say to them in person? or via e-mail as i often send them tweets on Twitter and send them e-mails saying how my week went. But what else do i say to them. I know that those events are meant to get together and watch sports, but i see everywhere as places to meet women, even the convenience stores, movie theaters, Sports events, and even websites that are not dating sites, but sites where people chat about other things.

I will do my best to find a better way to ask this question if people have a hard time understanding what i am trying to ask as i have been trying to think of a clearer way of asking this myself.
- October 27th, 2009, 11:32 pm
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lil_lamb lil_lamb is offline
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doesn't matter what you say, barring things like "hey baby, can i make you breakfast?" the key is to make "emotional space" for women to relax in and let their hair down a little bit. that starts with you being relaxed enough, and maybe even shielding them a bit from your focus on them.
- October 28th, 2009, 12:32 am
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BrickWallsBreak BrickWallsBreak is offline
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BrickWallsBreak this place is too conservative for me. And that's saying a lot!

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Read the book 'Men are from Mars, women are from Venus'. Several years old, but still applicable. It really will help in communication and understanding the way women think and hear what you say -- sometimes totally different than the way you intended it.

It's really a pardigm shift in thinking, feeling and communicating with the opposite sex.

Good luck.
- October 28th, 2009, 03:49 am
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DancingFool DancingFool is offline
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The best skill that you can acquire is how to get her to talk while you sit back and listen - just listen without jumping in and trying to find a practical solution to whatever she is talking about. In short, just let her talk. If she finds herself comfortable talking to you and sharing her life, she'll start to like you and feel a connection to you.
- October 28th, 2009, 03:58 am
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is online now
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Gr8Guyn2008 I look inside myself and see my heart is black

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BrickWallsBreak wrote :
Read the book 'Men are from Mars, women are from Venus'. Several years old, but still applicable. It really will help in communication and understanding the way women think and hear what you say -- sometimes totally different than the way you intended it.

It's really a paradigm shift in thinking, feeling and communicating with the opposite sex.

Good luck.
Ooh, that is intellectual
- October 28th, 2009, 08:37 am
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Leafsg Leafsg is offline
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DancingFool wrote :
The best skill that you can acquire is how to get her to talk while you sit back and listen - just listen without jumping in and trying to find a practical solution to whatever she is talking about. In short, just let her talk. If she finds herself comfortable talking to you and sharing her life, she'll start to like you and feel a connection to you.
Yes, but how do i get her to talk? What do i say? Plus i am also worried about saying the wrong things.
- November 2nd, 2009, 12:08 am
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kneo24 kneo24 is offline
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Leafsg wrote :
Yes, but how do i get her to talk? What do i say? Plus i am also worried about saying the wrong things.
I've always found that women love talking about themselves. Ask simple questions about their job or their life.

  • Is this a career you like?
  • What do you most like about your job?
  • What do you most hate?
  • Oh, I heard you said it was stressful, why is it so stressful?
  • What made you decide to move to where you live?
  • Do you like it there?
  • Where would you rather live?
And the list goes on and on. It is by no means a complete list. Just ask a question and start asking more questions based off of that, while interjecting your own commentary and personal experiences from time to time with a little humor and she will start feeling comfortable talking to you.

Obviously a lot of those questions are probably going to be answered before your first date or whatever due to communication through eharmony and outside of it. Just pay attention to what she says.

The most important thing is that it has to feel natural and smooth. It's ok to be a little nervous but you should get over that by the time the date is halfway over. I'm usually a nervous wreck but go in showing a lot of confidence to hide it. It seems to help women feel more at ease when they talk to me, which in turn makes me far less nervous than I really am.
- November 2nd, 2009, 02:44 am
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ewalk82 ewalk82 is offline
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Well at a sporting event, the icebreaker is easy. Talk about the game. Don't go into too much detail about the players and their stats though. She may only be there because a friend had free tickets or something. That's another great starter. Are you here with friends?

Once you get the ball rolling, ask her if she likes other sports (since you seem to be a sports guy) then generalize it - what do you like to do for fun besides hockey games? You may find some common ground there.

Honestly, you have balls for even striking a conversation in the first place. It takes confidence to talk to the opposite sex and you clearly have that. Just be at ease with whatever the flow of the conversation is, sometimes there are silences, just go with it or crack a joke. Women love to laugh.
- November 2nd, 2009, 04:12 am
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Fleuellen Fleuellen is offline
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in French ... doesn't matter what you actually say
- November 2nd, 2009, 05:34 am
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ANDR3W ANDR3W is offline
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Its not as hard as you think it is, in fact its quite easy once you understand the basic strategy of this human mating ritual we call dating.

YouTube - How to get a girl to like you

YouTube - Do Women Like To Be Lied To?

YouTube - Anatomy of a Douchebag: How To Get a Girl To Go Out With You

YouTube - "Subtext" Tales Of Mere Existence
- November 2nd, 2009, 06:08 am
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