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singinggirl singinggirl is offline
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TheThinker wrote :
Why do you believe the qualities you listed... would be a turn off for us "typical guys"??
I don't think those qualities are a turn off for "typical guys", but I have met men who don't want an independent, strong, successful woman. They want a 'little woman' who is completely dependent on them. There are some men out there--not most!--who seem to be threatened by a strong, independent woman.
- November 1st, 2009, 07:25 pm
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LizziePooh LizziePooh is offline
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D_Lion wrote :
I consider the qualtities you list to be a minimum standard all women need to meet to justify opening communication.

It is from within this group I start making individual judgments.

I have never encountered difficulty or "standoff-ishness" in this group. In fact, these are the people with the emotional health and basic life capacity necessary to sustain a relationship.
I agree - I think DL took the words right out of my mouth...of course, with him saying them they came out much clearer and concise than what my mouth would have done. lol!
- November 4th, 2009, 06:33 pm
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Jacquesne Jacquesne is offline
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LizziePooh wrote :
I agree - I think DL took the words right out of my mouth...of course, with him saying them they came out much clearer and concise than what my mouth would have done. lol!
Wait...these are your minimum standards for dating women too?



Jacquesne

(Kidding!)
- November 4th, 2009, 09:48 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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Whenever I see this thread title I think "Fine....do you want a medal?"
- November 5th, 2009, 06:11 pm
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peg099 peg099 is offline
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I think that independent women can appear standoffish or aloof because a) they have a lot going on so they might have less time to spend with a guy, especially in the early stages and b) they aren't needy.

But most independent women I know are just as loving as those that are less independent. In fact, I think in some ways they can be more genuinely loving because they choose their partners based on who they want rather than out of a sense of need. They're more likely to be with you because of the qualities you bring to the table as a human being than because you can 'take care of them'.
- November 6th, 2009, 12:11 am
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FruitaBu FruitaBu is offline
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handsomeItalian wrote :
I find when a Woman is an independent thinker, her own person, has her own passionate interests, is a big turn on! If a woman is ambitious, maybe a business owner, owns her own home or has accomplished something to call her own and doesn't put up with BS or disrespect from others and is straight forward
Is it really that different or impressive to accomplish something, be your own person, and possibly own your own home as a woman? Is this really some kind of shocking behavior that most guys wouldn't like?

Seems normal to me..
- November 6th, 2009, 05:37 am
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DancingFool DancingFool is offline
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handsomeItalian wrote :
I'm attracted to qualities in a Woman that would turn off a typical guy. I find when a Woman is an independent thinker, her own person, has her own passionate interests, is a big turn on! If a woman is ambitious, maybe a business owner, owns her own home or has accomplished something to call her own and doesn't put up with BS or disrespect from others and is straight forward is awesome! I love that!

Is being independent extremely important to you, but at the same time wanting a sense of companionship with someone who feels the same?
Reading this post I just can't stop laughing. I guess in my personal experience whenever a guy says this kind of stuff is that it stands for one thing and one thing alone - "I'm a lazy slob looking for a rich woman to support me and provide me with a champagne lifestyle." In fact all men like that pretty much use the same exact wording. It's just hilarious.

Sorry OP, perhaps you don't fit into the above category, but it's likely that you get the cold shoulder because of it. Independent women are still women and are looking for a man who is at least their equal. They are generally not looking for a yes man or a companion pet or someone to support. If you come across that way, of course she'll blow you off.
- November 6th, 2009, 06:19 am
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parakeetjordan parakeetjordan is offline
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handsomeItalian wrote :
I'm attracted to qualities in a Woman that would turn off a typical guy. I find when a Woman is an independent thinker, her own person, has her own passionate interests, is a big turn on! If a woman is ambitious, maybe a business owner, owns her own home or has accomplished something to call her own and doesn't put up with BS or disrespect from others and is straight forward is awesome! I love that!
The thing I've found is that when 2 people are like-minded in this way it's hard to come together even to get to know each other, especially as a Male looking for these qualities in a Woman...becuz a Woman who's independent, has her own thing going on...doesn't need a man, BUT wants a man who can be a partner, someone who challenges her on her level isn't going to easily let another into her personal space and vice-versa...I find there's an aloofness, a standoff-ish vibe towards getting to know someone who's interested in her.
Not really a question, just something personal I wanted to share.

Is being independent extremely important to you, but at the same time wanting a sense of companionship with someone who feels the same?
It was a surprise to me too, in a way, but I find that a lot of men are attracted to these types of qualities. I guy I refer to on another thread as Mr. Too-Good-To-Be-True told me that the reason he is attracted to me is because he thinks that I have my act together. He is tired of dating women just because they are pretty, but have nothing else going for them in their lives, according to him. He also told me that he's never dated a single mother before, but that he wanted to try with me, probably because he thinks I have my act together.
- November 6th, 2009, 07:26 am
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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DancingFool wrote :
Reading this post I just can't stop laughing. I guess in my personal experience whenever a guy says this kind of stuff is that it stands for one thing and one thing alone - "I'm a lazy slob looking for a rich woman to support me and provide me with a champagne lifestyle." In fact all men like that pretty much use the same exact wording. It's just hilarious.

Sorry OP, perhaps you don't fit into the above category, but it's likely that you get the cold shoulder because of it. Independent women are still women and are looking for a man who is at least their equal. They are generally not looking for a yes man or a companion pet or someone to support. If you come across that way, of course she'll blow you off.

Pretty offensive, considering this is customary demands in women's profiles.

So, am I justified to conclude women are "a lazy slob looking for a rich man to support me and provide me with a champagne lifestyle."
- November 6th, 2009, 04:52 pm
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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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FruitaBu wrote :
Is it really that different or impressive to accomplish something, be your own person, and possibly own your own home as a woman? Is this really some kind of shocking behavior that most guys wouldn't like?

Seems normal to me..
i know, most of my friends and myself are like this- because if we weren't, we'd be homeless.

do some men think we are all living at home reclining on a chaise lounge until they show up?
- November 7th, 2009, 03:48 am
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