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Mayne's Avatar

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Any guys paranoid that women in their late 30's/early 40's who say they want kids are in race against the biological clock and are just looking for the first suitable husband/sperm donor they can find? only to be dumped a few years later? I recall reading a stat that something like 80% of all divorces are initiated by the woman.
- June 19th, 2009, 07:50 pm
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Paranoid implies irrational fear.

The context of your OP appears to attempt to make a case for the opposite.

It is your role in a new relationship to assess the quality of your partner and determine if you can fulfill her expectations. If you can, and treat her properly, why would she leave you?

If you can’t, select a different partner.
- June 19th, 2009, 07:58 pm
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IcecreamMoon Nothing to see here at all...

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D_Lion wrote :
Paranoid implies irrational fear.
I'm liking this
But if you do this often, I'll have little else to say...

On second thought, we could just blast that entire portion of the population, and have even more fun with it
- June 19th, 2009, 09:04 pm
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Mayne wrote :
Any guys paranoid that women in their late 30's/early 40's who say they want kids are in race against the biological clock and are just looking for the first suitable husband/sperm donor they can find? only to be dumped a few years later? I recall reading a stat that something like 80% of all divorces are initiated by the woman.
really if someone wanted a baby there are other avenues these days that would carry far less drama and baggage.
- June 19th, 2009, 10:38 pm
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Nanette wrote :
really if someone wanted a baby there are other avenues these days that would carry far less drama and baggage.

In and of itself, that doesn’t disprove his thesis.

Particularly when “other avenues” have cost, and his is an income stream. Hence, “paranoia.”
- June 20th, 2009, 07:01 am
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IcecreamMoon Nothing to see here at all...

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D_Lion wrote :
Particularly when “other avenues” have cost, and his is an income stream. Hence, “paranoia.”
And dealing with divorce, custody and alimony disputes is just an added bonus.

Good to have you back
- June 20th, 2009, 07:11 am
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Mayne wrote :
Any guys paranoid that women in their late 30's/early 40's who say they want kids are in race against the biological clock and are just looking for the first suitable husband/sperm donor they can find? only to be dumped a few years later? I recall reading a stat that something like 80% of all divorces are initiated by the woman.
Not exactly in my demographics. But I see your premise as flawed through personally proven evidence of single women who have selected a father for their child with no regard for love or marriage.
- June 20th, 2009, 08:28 am
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Your theory assumes that the ONLY reason a woman who wants children in this specific age range desires a husband is to procreate. Well, there are so many flaws in this assumption...I'm darn near speechless.

But OP, I will say this: If you're not interested in becoming a father or a husband, please don't. As you meet women who want to become mothers and wives, please don't get involved with them, walk away. You will be doing them, and their future children, a huge favor.
- June 20th, 2009, 09:45 am
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I am going through this situation now. I think the main thing is you need to want children yourself, if you are unsure its not fair to her. You might be a great guy, but for her I think its a deal breaker if you are saying maybe someday down the road you might want to. The one thing I have found is that the pace of the relationship is fast and that can become uncomfortable as big decisions need to made sooner rather than later. Hope you figure it out.
- June 20th, 2009, 10:02 am
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It is my understanding that the premise for the "Wants Kids" part of the profile is more than that.
It is not necessarily indicating that they are racing against some Biological Clock and will marry the first guy that comes along that loosely fits her definition as acceptable. (and will subsequently divorce them once she gets the payoff)
I was of the assumption that it could also mean that the woman would accept a man that already has children or that adoption is a possibility.

I am a man that can't have children but am certainly interested in adopting some day or finding a woman that already has children (which in my age group is not that unusual).
I am upfront about the subject when it comes up.

Did I apply too broad a definition to the "wants children" part? Does that mean I should stop going on dates with women that want children because I can't give them the actual birth experience?

I don't think so. But maybe that is just me.
- June 20th, 2009, 10:28 am
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LinkBack to this Thread: http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/dating-advice/about-you/26022-women-late-30s-early-40s-who-say-they-want-kids.html
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