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Welcome to eHarmony Advice’s first ever LIVE CHAT.
Today’s event is the first in a series of new features we are creating to enjoy a more open dialogue with our readers.
We are working hard to build an online place where you can turn to and get all the
information you need to be truly successful in your relationships.
Today’s guest expert is Dr. Galen Buckwalter. Dr. Buckwalter is an internationally renowned researcher who spearheaded the scientific development of eHarmony’s compatibility model. He currently serves as eHarmony’s Vice President of
Research and Development.
The Live Chat will begin at 1 p.m. PT.
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LiveChatModerator (Unknown): Today we are kicking things off where it all started - the scientific research behind eHarmony. We have received many great advance questions from readers.
Many focused on the mechanics of using eHarmony rather than our scientific approach to matching singles. We have plans to devote several future chats to these kinds of questions and will bring in experts from our Product Team to help you make the most out of your eHarmony subscription.
Today, we’ll be using some of your pre-submitted questions for Dr. Buckwalter to get the conversation going. And as we get live questions, we will incorporate those in.
We’ll try to get to as many questions about our unique scientific matching model.
LiveChatModerator (Pasadena, CA): Let’s Get Started!
LiveChatModerator (Pasadena, CA): Thanks dr. Buckwalter for making the time to answer our readers’ questions.
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): You’re welcome. I am so pleased to be able to chat with so many interested users about our research.
It’s really the core of what we do at eHarmony.
LiveChatModerator (Pasadena, CA): Can you tell us a bit about how you became involved with eHarmony?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): Dr. Neil Clark Warren, eHarmony’s founder, was the dean of the graduate school I attended. After graduate school, we maintained personal contact while I pursued a career in academic research.
I was a professor at the University of Southern California studying Alzheimer’s when
Dr. Warren approached me to help him develop empirical models to match people more effectively. He was convinced after years of clinical work that many marriages with severe problems were made up of people who shouldn’t have been together.
He thought we could bring down the divorce rate by bringing together people who were better suited for each other.
So we got started researching this issue in 1997. We developed the relationship questionnaire and identified the key factors or dimensions that determined long term relationship success. Then we conducted a series of studies to identify specific profiles of couples that were most effective in predicting successful relationships.
So… before we ever took it online, we had worked for about 3 years researching and developing these empirical methods of matching singles for long-term relationship success.
LiveChatModerator (Pasadena, CA): Can you talk about the science behind the questionnaire and the Personality Profile?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): A pre-requisite for any successful relationship is a thorough understanding of oneself. As well as a desire to move forward toward a more positive self image. We created the profile to assist people in that process.
Personality is a complex constellation of traits and abilities. In this spirit of helping people better understand themselves we developed the original personality profile. We have since created the premium personality profile, which is a deeper, more comprehensive tool for self evaluation.
LiveChatModerator (Pasadena, CA): Where did the 29 dimensions of compatibility come from?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): Yes, we identified the 29 dimensions through a series of research studies we conducted. They form the cornerstone of successful long-term relationships. These dimensions also reflect Dr. Warren’s 35 years of clinical experience. Today, we measure all 29 dimensions in a statistically valid manner and we also have ample evidence that each dimension is critical in relationship success.
The exact algorithms we used to match users based on these dimensions are extremely complex and they really are our “secret sauce” so we don’t talk about specific details.
ginat1966 (Unknown): Is there a dimension that is most important out of the 29?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): This is going to vary person from person. In general, we find the dimension of self-concept to be extremely important. This basically deals with how you see yourself. How positive your self perception is. People who have more positive self concepts are typically more easily to match. That makes sense if you think about it. If someone has a poor self concept, there’s a likelihood that person is going to be looking for a relationship to fill in the gaps in their own personality. That makes it harder to engage in a mutually beneficial relationship.
That’s why we always encourage people to work on improving themselves, to be as emotionally healthy as possible. Remember…that emotional health is a life long process. You’re never done improving yourself.
LiveChatModerator (Pasadena, CA): So if I know all 29 dimensions, why can’t I just apply this to dating without eHarmony?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): It’s not entirely realistic to think that someone can sit down with another person...ask a few questions, and tic off all 29 dimensions. Our questionnaire has been thoroughly validated. It’s based on years of empirical and clinical research on how to evaluate these dimensions in a reliable manner. One of the major advantages of eHarmony is the objectivity that our assessments provide for people.
When you are involved in an actual interchange with another person it’s hard for you to step back…and objectively evaluate their traits.
Our system in effect “watches your back”. It can provide you with the advantages of our years of research. I think this is particularly important in our current society. We don’t have the support systems in place that provided people with feedback in years past. Before we had extended families, established roots in communities that went back for generations, all looking out for you.
Few of us have that extensive of a support network so I really do see eHarmony as an opportunity to get objective scientific input on who is out there
that may be good for you in a strong and enduring relationship.
steph86 (La Crescenta, CA): where does chemistry fit into compatibility?
People must recognize long term compatibility and chemistry are two very different components of a relationship. Chemistry is an important factor in the initial stages of a relationship. As such, it’s frequently driven by physical attraction. Unfortunately, physical attraction is a poor predictor of long-term relationship success.
At eHarmony, we match on long-term compatibility. We do not deny that chemistry helps develop a relationship. In fact, Dr. Gonzaga is currently doing research on the chemistry of relationships.
ehb (Unknown): Is the matching system fundamentally designed with marriage in mind? Has this been changed?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): All of our research is conducted on married couples.
So.. all of our matching models do in fact match for long-term marital success.
CEU (Unknown): Since we are talking about the 29 dimensions and the matching process why do I often feel that the matches which are sent to me do not match my interest or values…
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): The matching models consider personality factors, values, and to a lesser degree, interests. It’s my guess that you may think that matches don’t align with you based primarily on interest.
Again, the matching models focus on the personality traits that our research finds to be crucial for long-term relationship success.
LiveChatModerator (Pasadena, CA): Over the last week, many readers wrote in asking why eHarmony matches on similarity
LiveChatModerator (Pasadena, CA): They all wondered if there wasn’t truth behind the old “opposites attract” way of thinking.
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA): The bulk of the research out there lines up with findings that similarities are essential for relationship success.
The old maxim that “opposites attract “can work in the short run, but we like to say “opposites attract… then they attack.” When you have a lot of differences there is a constant need to negotiate agreements. Emotionally that is inevitably a dream.
LA_Dad (Los Angeles, CA): opposite interests or opposite personality dimensions?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA): Good question!
Definitely opposite personality dimensions. We are not talking about matching you with a clone. We are just talking about putting you together with a person who is similar to you on critical dimensions of personality that will enhance the potential for long term relationship success.
LA_Dad (Los Angeles, CA): so having very different interests from your potential partner is not a red flag from your pov?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): You certainly want to share some common pursuits, but if the emotional connection… and the personality compatibility is there, a certain degree of diversity in interests can make for interesting dinner conversation.
GourmetHunter (Unknown): How can so many people be “compatible” with me?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): At any one time, there are so many people in the eHarmony system that the number of matches that fit the appropriate criteria… will vary greatly from person to person. This variance is based on personality traits combined with availability of persons in your age range and geographic region, as well as other self-selected matching criteria.
jdunn6 (Unknown): Can you talk a little more about how location affects your matches?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): The population of eHarmony users is distributed in a manner similar to the population of the United States. Thus, if you live in a large urban area the likelihood that you will have a large number o f matches is much greater than if you live in rural area. But we do have representation from all regions of the United States…it’s just that there may be fewer matches available in areas where the population is less dense.
LiveChatModerator (Pasadena, CA): Here’s a common question does gender and age affect the number of matches you get?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): We do have somewhat different distributions of membership…for men and women and for different age groups.
I must say that we are getting more equal representation of men and women across all ages but there still are clearly more middle aged or older women than men. But we are working very aggressively to enroll more men.
davegmd (Unknown): Do you have any advice on how to get more matches?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): We have found that certain characteristics are non-negotiable for some people. So we allow people to tell us their “self-selects”. However, by tweaking your self-selects you can really make a big difference in the number of matches that you will get.
We suggest you try to be as flexible as you can be in setting your self-selects.
LiveChatModerator (Pasadena, CA): Charles in Houston wrote - do you match across ethnic groups?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): Yes, we do.
Our research has consistently shown that marriage across ethnic groups can be highly successful.
We do allow users to select the ethnic groups. But we have found numerous success cases among couples of different ethnicities.
Safari (NYC): How many matches does it take for an average user to find “the one”?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): There is a great deal of variability across users.
We do see that people have the most success who stay on the system for at least 6 months.
No, that isn’t a plug for extended subscriptions. It is actually our observation
h20girl (Atlanta): does eHarmony really work?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): Speaking strictly based on research, I see consistent evidence of eHarmony success.
I make this statement based on the number of marriages that are resulting after couples met on eHarmony. And on the quality of the marriages that we have facilitated. Every 2 years we conduct large studies that compares eHarmony success cases with married couples selected from the general U.S. population.
That data consistently shows that eHarmony couples are more satisfied. The number of marriages also attests to our success.
In 2005, a Harris Poll indicated that on an average day 90 people were getting married after having met on eHarmony.
We are in the process of repeating both of these studies and look forward to sharing the results.
nannyh (Unknown): How does appearance factor into your matching model?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): Appearance is not a factor in the compatibility models. We do consider how important physical appearance is to each of our users.
But ultimately physical appearance is an issue for each user to decide how important it is in their selection of a potential mate.
LiveChatModerator (Pasadena, CA): How does eHarmony’s matching system take into account individual changes as we each learn, grow and progress?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): Well, we match on dimensions that show a large degree of stability over time. We certainly recognize that people grow. We have a commitment to conduct additional research on an ongoing basis and adjust our models accordingly. We feel this keeps our system relevant to all users wherever they may be in their life.
Leah17 (Maine): How do you research and obtain data to prove the quality of marriages made with eHarmony matches have happier marriages?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): We recruit from all success stories from eHarmony’s system that we are aware of.
That’s why we spend so much effort in trying to stay in touch with people who marry someone they met on eHarmony.
We recruit couples who met through means other than eHarmony through nationally representative databases that are available…through large research firms.
Then we compare eHarmony couples with similar random couples who met through other means than through eHarmony.
steph86 (La Crescenta, CA): Does eHarmony reject users?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): The truth is.. since we rely on statistical models there is not way we can match every single person. Our statistical criteria for making a match is that there’s an 80% statistical probability that a match would be in the top 25% of relationship satisfaction.
There is no way to be able to match everyone and meet that criteria. If we cannot match someone, we inform them of that immediately.
Safari (NYC): Is there a way for my wife and I to use eHarmony to check out compatibility?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): There are two services that eHarmony provides that give married couples feedback on their relationship.
The first is the eHarmony Marriage product which gives you an indepth assessment of the strengths and weaknesses of your marriage in such areas as … trust, sex and romance, household management, etc.
A much shorter instrument is also available on eHarmony Labs (http://www.eharmony.com/labs/) called…The Relationship Checkup.
Although this was designed for couples relatively early in their relationship, many married couples find this to be a useful tool as well.
cap21 (Unknown): How do you study chemistry? Online or in-person?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): Dr. Gonzaga is conducting studies of chemistry in our observational lab. In this study he has singles meet each other under the controlled situation of the laboratory.
He has applied findings from the laboratory study to an online study and we are hoping to be able to apply the findings from this online study to the singles product in the near future.
LiveChatModerator (Pasadena, CA): Another very common question - are there any upcoming tweaks or improvements to the matching system?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): We conduct large scale studies of marriage satisfaction every two years.
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): This provides us the opportunity to revisit our matching models. We confirm existing models and we look for new models that allow us to match evermore diverse types of people.
Safari (NYC): How can we sign up for the study?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): For anyone that’s interested in research studies, they can find out about them at http://www.eharmony.com/labs/
LiveChatModerator (Pasadena, CA): Well, it looks like we’re about out of time, Dr. Buckwalter any final thoughts?
DrBuckwalter (Pasadena, CA ): I want to thank everyone for their interest and participation. We are all treading into new territory in developing eHarmony. I assure all of you that we at eHarmony approach this with complete passion and commitment — this is our mission.
There’s no playbook for us to follow in developing an effective matching service. We need to continue to learn from you so stay in touch with us, and we will continue to do all we can to provide you with matches that give you the potential for developing highly satisfying, long-lasting relationships.
LiveChatModerator (Pasadena, CA): Thank you very much for your time and insight into the science behind eHarmony’s matching model.
LiveChatModerator (Pasadena, CA): And please make sure to Save the Date for our next Live Chat on Tuesday, November 27 at 2:30 p.m. PT.
LiveChatModerator (Pasadena, CA): Our guests will be Dr. Les Parrott and Dr. Leslie Parrott. They are best belling authors, acclaimed lecturers and have appeared on The Today Show, CNN and Oprah.
If you’d like to discuss today’s Live Chat visit
http://advice.eharmony.com/?page=view_thread&TID=7869
Thanks and we’ll see you on Nov 27th at 2:30pm PT
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