Jaded? Rediscover the Excitement of Dating

Are you starting to feel a little burned-out from your online dating efforts? Whether you're getting more matches than you can handle or less than you expected, the process can take its toll. We explore the causes behind this common letdown and offer some suggestions for putting the spark back in your mouse.

by eHarmony Staff

Worn out and weary from online dating? The truth is, you are not alone. You stand with millions of men and women who are using online dating to find their soul mates and discovering that it can be -WORK.

Why is the soul mate search so full of trials and tribulations? Because you're not searching for a casual date. You want something meaningful, that has potential, and this sets the bar for success much higher. People who might have been "good enough" in the past don't make the grade. As time passes and you explore possibilities and meet new people, it's not uncommon to wake up one day and think, "The thrill is gone."

For most people these jaded, burned-out feelings are linked to fatigue. Football coach Vince Lombardi said, "Fatigue makes cowards of us all," and he was right. If you're burning the candle at both ends, and letting your mental and physical resources run low, the energy that it takes to sustain a positive outlook toward finding your soul mate will be the first thing to go.

Getting the Thrill Back

Treat your soul mate search as a marathon instead of a sprint. It's important that you think about your long-term endurance and organize your efforts in a strategic fashion.If you feel like you're already in the "jaded zone," here are some helpful ways to rekindle your spark for dating:

1. Pace yourself

One of the reasons for your jaded outlook may simply be the pace at which you're communicating and dating.It can be tempting to book every spare moment with a date-related activity. It can be enticing to fill every workday pause with an online trip to check your matches. Searching for a soul mate is, by its nature, an exciting exercise; your adrenaline starts to flow at just the thought of a potential new person. But over time, these moments of excitement can leave us with a roller-coaster hangover.

Make sure you balance your efforts so your soul mate search isn't the only interesting thing on your weekly calendar. It may be difficult to measure your efforts in this regard, but if you spend all your energy sprinting in the first two miles of your soul mate search, it can be very hard to stay in the race for the duration.