I lot of it is about communicating everything and being open and honest as possible. You can gain more knowledge about a person in an evening with intimate and authentic communication than staying with someone for months or even years of just doing things together.
While it is true that you cannot "see" how they react with day-to-day things, you can find out if you are sharing your lives and true feelings daily. I have a long distance relationship, and I know how she acts when she is mad, how she acts when she is sick or had a bad day, her thoughts about relationships & life, her hopes and dreams. Why? Because we talk about all that. We don't hide behind looking good, we just be ourselves, 100%.
I know my long distance lover better than many people I know in person that I have known for years. All because of intimate, real and honest communication.
If you find yourself pretending to be someone you are not, then you are inviting them to do the same. The looking good game does not serve you in long distance relationships. Be real, and they will usually reciprocate. Open up, and they will usually open up. The fact is, all that posing to look good is not what you will be marrying, so its best to be real up front, and find someone who loves you the way you are, warts and all.
After months of intimate and honest communication, when I finally met her in person, she was everything I had expected, warts and all, but a truly wonderful person. There was no surprises because we already knew each other intimately through communication.
- December 16, 2009 07:41 AM
Herbacide writes: Be careful what you wish for.....it might come true!Don't mistake infatuation for true love.I love the "chase". Once I catch her,everything changes and I begin to loose interest, I even get scared. I'd say it's best to keep it long distance and keep him in"the hunt". Most guys are on an ego trip. Don't give them the satisfaction of submission.
*innocent look*
- December 14, 2009 12:21 PM
NEVER uproot your life and move across the country for a "maybe." At the end of the day, maybe's mean nothing. You need a rock solid commitment. Speaking from experience, long distance relationships require 1,000% commitment from each party in order to work. Also, focus on actions, not words. Your love interest half-way across the country may profess his/her undying love for you, but unless this love is demonstrated, it's all smoke being blown up you-know-what. Harsh but true.
- December 14, 2009 09:36 AM
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