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They earn millions of dollars, are instantly recognized the world over, and hobnob with the most popular and accomplished people in society. Without question, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes live a rare life of immense privilege.
But at the same time, they are a newly married couple with a young child, and they may face some of the same challenges you do in your relationship. Age differences, babies, previous marriages—these issues affect both rich and poor alike. We’re going to take a look at the issues that could exist within this celebrity relationship in order to help you discover a range of tactics and skills for overcoming similar challenges in your own life.
Relationship Synopsis
Tom Cruise’s string of multimillion dollar films including—Mission: Impossible, War of the Worlds, Minority Report, Eyes Wide Shut, Jerry Maguire, The Firm, Days of Thunder, The Color of Money, and Top Gun—make him one of the most famous and successful stars in the history of showbiz. When the twice-divorced Cruise appeared on Oprah in April 2005 and expressed his love for a young actress named Katie Holmes, many fans were surprised. Katie, who was then 26 years old, had starred in the teen hit WB drama Dawson’s Creek as well as a few small film roles, but she was hardly a household name. And her multiyear engagement to actor Chris Klein had kept her firmly off the Hollywood tabloid circuit. Within six months, the couple announced Holmes’ pregnancy. The child, a girl named Suri, was born in April 2006, and seven months later, Tom and Katie were married in a legal ceremony in Los Angeles that was soon followed by an elaborate wedding in Italy.
What You Can Learn from Their Relationship
Like many newly married couples, Tom and Katie’s relationship may face some unique challenges:
1. There is a significant difference in their ages. (At the time of their marriage, Tom was 44 and Katie was 27.)
2. One partner has multiple previous marriages and the other has none. (Tom had been married two times previously, while Katie had not been married before.)
3. They had a baby during the first year of their relationship. (Baby Suri was actually born on April 18, 2006, seven months before her parents were married.)
Significant Age Differences
When entering into a relationship with someone who is significantly older or younger, it’s important for you to address the age issue. Some things in life may change or fade away, but time is here to stay. A man who is 20 years older than his wife is almost certainly going to begin experiencing health issues before she does. Make the effort to talk to your partner about these specific situations:
Health Care – Once the older partner begins to experience health issues, how will this be handled? Different Points of Reference – People of different ages often have different points of reference, particularly in the area of popular events. Do you care that your partner can’t remember Johnny Carson? Is it embarrassing that your partner thinks that My Morning Jacket is a new style of at-home leisure wear? This may seem minor, but common experiences bond us in profound ways.
Your Partner’s Friends – Partners who don’t share friends often have difficulty in a long-term relationship. It isn’t uncommon for a 40-year-old man to love his 25-year-old partner but find her friends juvenile and annoying. By the same token, a younger person may find the older friends of his or her partner boring and out of touch. Discuss this important issue together and see if it is a potential land mine for your relationship.
Finally, remember that, historically, significant age differences have been common in marriages. And even with new notions of what marriage should be, there is no reason why a relationship with a significant age difference can’t be strong and successful.
Previous Relationships
When there’s a significant age difference between partners, it’s likely that the older person could have an ex or children with an ex. The responsibility that goes with them can take its toll on a relationship, so that’s why it’s important to address issues up front.
Your past is part of who you are, so it’s important that you talk about it with your new partner instead of acting like it never happened. If you happen to be the one with more history, don’t divulge all the sordid details—your new boyfriend or girlfriend probably doesn’t want to hear everything. Plus, it’s in bad taste, especially if children are involved.
Nobody said that balancing everything that life throws at you is easy. In fact, it may be wise to seek professional guidance to help everyone get settled.
New Baby
Sleepless nights, diaper changes, and colicky babies. Ah, parenthood.
Partners who have children after being together only a short while have a challenging road ahead. Parenthood is difficult, whether you’ve been together six months or six years.
And that’s not to say that newly paired couples don’t make great parents—it’s just that they don’t have the same foundation that more-established couples have. Dealing with a new addition to the family unit is a great opportunity to work through these issues together and get to know and rely on each other on an even deeper level. Partners who have a strong support system (and babysitting network!) consisting of family and friends have a better chance at success and well-being than those who go it alone.
Having a baby is a big deal. Partners who find themselves in relatively new relationships and with a baby on the way should prepare themselves by communicating their expectations. Even if they feel they don’t need it, counseling can help partners cope when problems do arise. Established couple or not, parenting classes can benefit all new moms and dads.
Whether it’s a celebrity couple or your next-door neighbors, the recipe for success in any new relationship contains these basic ingredients: open lines of communication, shared interests, well-thought-out plans for the future, and mutual respect.
Read on for Brangelina's relationship profile!
Photo Courtesy of Getty Images
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