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You’re clicking, compatible, and all signs are pointing to the fact that yes, this girl is really into you. There’s just one thing. She hasn’t been intimate with you. And you don’t exactly want to broach the subject of “if and when” for fear of turning her off completely. So what gives?
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She’s Still Deciding how she Feels about You
Your girlfriend’s decision to hold off on getting intimate with you may be as simple as she’s still figuring out how she feels about you. Sure, she knows she likes you. But for women, it’s not enough to just like a guy. Because the fairer sex equates physical intimacy with emotional connection, she may still be deciding how much she likes you, and if you’re worthy of jumping into deeper emotional waters with. Give her the benefit of the doubt by allowing her more time to get to know the real you. Once she does, she may surprise you with an intimate invitation in the near future.
She’s not Sure how you Feel About Her
Maybe your girl has already decided that she digs you, but hasn’t quite figured out your feelings for her. And before a woman decides to get that close with someone new, she wants to be reasonably certain about his intentions. If she’s unsure of your interest level, concerned about your ability to be monogamous, or in any way has doubts regarding where your relationship is going, she’s going to hold off on becoming intimate. It’s up to you to be honest about your interest and intentions, giving her the opportunity to decide her next move. And if you’re not on the same page? Better to know it now. That way, you avoid hurt feelings and possibly a very messy breakup.
She Wants to Take it Slow
The clue to your sexual future may lie in your girlfriend’s past. Have you talked to her about past relationships? If so, has she revealed a former flame that fizzled bitterly? If not, this may just be the reason she’s pumping the brakes on pursuing a passionate liaison with you. Oftentimes after a bad breakup or bitter betrayal, your girl will feel a little gun shy. Not wanting to get burned again, she may need to take things slow. And that’s okay. In fact, it’s pretty smart. After all, sex is not just emotionally risky. If you’re not careful, you can expose yourself to all kinds of physical dangers as well. And until you have had a very frank chat about monogamy, safe sex, birth control, and sexually transmitted diseases, you should take things slow.
She Doesn’t Believe in Sex before Marriage
Of course, her decision not to sleep with you may not be temporary. Have you ever considered that the woman you’re dating doesn’t believe in sex before marriage? While the idea may seem archaic to you, abstinence may be a choice she made long before she met you. And no matter how much she likes you, if she’s waiting until marriage to become physically intimate, you’re not going to change her mind. Don’t even think about it. So how do you know if your girl wants to wait until marriage? Look for and listen to the messages she sends when you’re spending time together. Does she talk about the future, her religious faith, and/or her values and morals? When you kiss her, does she respond passionately, or keep you at arm’s length? These are just a few potential signs that’ll help you see where she stands on the issue of sex before marriage. To know for sure, you should probably just ask.
She’s Seeing other People
There’s also a possibility that the girl you’re seeing is still seeing other people, and until she decides to get exclusive with you, she’s not going to sleep with you. Maybe you’re still seeing other people, too. Have you had a conversation about exclusivity? If not, are you ready to? By getting clear about where you stand with one another, you’ll have a better idea about if and when you’ll both be ready to consummate your relationship. This may be a difficult subject to broach, but again, it’s an essential one to have before becoming intimate. Without knowing your partner’s sexual past and possible present, there’s no way to ensure a safe emotional and physical future for either one of you. And if you both decide to take your relationship to the next level, you owe it to each other to know exactly where you stand before doing so.
In reviewing the five possible reasons your love interest is not sleeping with you, did one particular point stand out? If so, you may have the answer you’ve been searching for. Regardless of why the two of you have yet to become intimate, your future relationship success lies in open and honest communication. Do both of you a favor by talking about where you stand, what your intentions are, and then together, discuss if you are both serious enough and ready to take it to the next level.
Read on for similar articles in our Stages of Love road map!
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